Vicarious Eyes

With vicarious eyes I look on
Watching with love and pride
As I hide, fight the urge to cry
I’m not envious
Or filled with pity
But rather
I just wonder why couldn’t that be me
I watch on with vicarious eyes
Trying ever so hard to disguise
The truth that resides
Emotional weight
Of a life not lived yet
I try to suppress the pain
Try to pick myself up
For their sake
Show a good face of support
And be the good friend
Lost in the shadows of
Nothingness and when
Longing for unreachable aspirations
When the reality sets in
That being happy is no longer an option
When you realize you have suddenly settled
Settled into a world that you created
By your own circumstances
Vicarious eyes,
Staring back at me
Dreams to be more than this version of me
being a figment of my own reality
Needing to be more
wanting more
Desiring more
Vicarious eyes
vicarious lives
Vicarious, Why?

Spilling Ink(G.L)

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